Last couple of months have been really, really tough for me. Christmas vacation, can not come soon enough
Work has been insane because of all the work we have to get done by Christmas, I’ve felt like I let my great boss down.
Overall, my confidence is really down.
My confidence is like the Dow Jones Stock Index. There are times when it rises up and things are great and there are times it hits rock bottom.
Currently it is rock bottom. I am just really frustrated with a lot on my mind whether it is life and love with no way out in order to ease my nerves in the interim. I just don’t feel good about myself whether it is how I see everything happening or telling that special someone how I really feel about her.
I have had a hard time sleeping. I just can’t really feel comfortable to sleep with so much on my mind.
While things are bad lately, there are those moments which are the ones that bring me some light into my perspective, which keep that small of sliver of optimism there in my mind. The times that bring out the good feelings and set aside those bad feelings for awhile.
They usually never are big. It’s always the small things, that come out of nowhere when you don’t expect it and give you comfort or joy.
- Going to a diner with a friend and just talking about iPhone Apps to use, what cookies to try and how great the show “Storage Wars” is.
- Watching Football in my pajamas and embracing the awesomeness that is “Tebow Time” while eating some Nachos without a worry in the world
- Playing “Words with Friends” with my peeps
- Eating tons of different cookies from Amateur Chefs and chugging Hard Black Cherry Cider
- Playing Drunken Shuffleboard with new friends after watching F.C. Barcelona at a bar
- Watching re-runs of “Storage Wars” over and over and over again
- Drinking coffee from my Jack Skellington Mug!
- Rushing to eat sushi so you can get to see “MI:4” on IMAX
- Coming up with funny hypotheticals and sending funny animal pictures to friends
- Helping out a stranger in need of help
- Wearing flannel shirts and cool t-shirts because it’s fun and not ironic (Fuck you, Hipsters)
- Random 90’s songs that play on your iPod
- Rolling a ball back and forth and making funny faces with newborns
- Singing “Freedom 90” at a bar at 3am near drunk
- Nearly asleep on a midnight subway train home in Brooklyn
- Seeing random acts of kindness unfold to good people in front of you
- and so on…
It’s always the “little wonders” that will get you through the tough complexities and hardships of life. Big moments are great things, but those don’t always come as often.
It’s like a prize fight between boxers, sure you can easily win the fight with a big punch to knock the opponent out, but if you keep taking big swings and keep missing, you’re just setting yourself up to get winded and get knocked out. It’s the methodical punching, combinations that win fights more often, like jabbing or body punches than the big knockout.
I rather have a million “little wonders” then have one “big moment”. Those are things that make you feel alive and give you hope for the future. I am going through a tough patch in life now, but I know things will look-up and I will have a clean slate starting on 1/1/2012 🙂
-V. for Vinnie