I Wanna Be Bad (No, not “BAD”!)

Breaking the Law! Breaking the Law! Breaking the Law!

I am clean as a whistle as a person. A straight goody two shows, one person may say. I have never been in trouble with the law a day in my life with the exception playing hooky once in Junior High School and getting suspended once for beating up someone who bullied me in self defense.

The story on that, this tall, strong asian kid liked to pick on me because I was small and didn’t like confrontations which made me essentially an easy target to be bullied. He pretty much said everything and anything to insult me to phase me.

I am very mild mannered, so I let it go but the guy was pretty relentless though. He got frustrated by me ignoring him and not taking the bait to the point, he got physical with me and made one of the biggest mistakes of his adolescence. As Sun Tzu or Dalton from “Road House” said “Never underestimate your opponent” especially when that opponent was trained in Judo and Wrestling (real and professional).

Once the kid pushed hard me to get my attention and was about to do it again , I gave him the finger and he tried to take a swing at me as I expected and when he did I went and executed a double leg takedown and drove him to the ground which he or the kids in the schoolyard didn’t expect. The kid was bigger and stronger than me, I was smart enough go know I would never win in a stand-up fist fight and I could take advantage of his momentum when he tried to take a swing at me and get him on the ground to my advantage.

Once I had him on the ground and him I quickly started punching him simiarly to a UFC fighter ground and pounding an opponent. He was completely stunned. I got about 3-4 punches in before I was pulled off by teachers. I gave that asshole, a black eye and embarassed him in front of everyone in school. He ended up being the butt of school jokes til he graduated.

The principal was shocked by my behavior though kids in the yard had my back and had said I did it in self-defense and that he bullied me for months though the school felt after I tackled him to the ground I should’ve stopped (without the foresight the kid might attack me if I did). The school knew I was up for admittance to catholic, private schools and Brooklyn Tech and didn’t want to hurt my future in High School.

They gave me an “Unofficial 1-day suspension”. Meaning a day off from school (which isn’t exactly punishment…My parents didn’t punish me , they even bought me video games and chinese food for standing up for myself. Had I thrown the first punch or provoked it that would’ve been different to them) and probation for the remainder of the year (though not on my school record). A walk in the park.

No bullies messed with me ever again from then on.

Other than my Junior High School years as an unexpected brawling badass, I was straight and narrow. I smoke once and awhile but nothing dangerous. I would never take drugs at all seeing how it hurt people I care about and I also have a paralyzing fear of needles. It takes a nurse/doctor a while to stick me with the needle for shots or taking blood.

My only drug is caffiene… and Yoohoo… and Skittles (the candy and it’s not slang for anything else). I would never hurt anyone either. Just not in my DNA to do anything to anyone like that. I am not perfect as a person and made mistakes and told lies (Anyone who has ever NOT told a lie in their life…please raise their hands? Thought so) but I know in my heart I am a good person.

While I am a good person, part of me wants to be bad. Now before you think I am going to turn “BAD” or “evil” and turn into some evil mofo with an evil goatee, evil laugh and does evil things… let me explain 🙂

I want to be more “edgy” as a person. I want to take more risks in life and not always adhere to my limitations that society gives me and the ones I give myself. I want to break a rule or two (though not Laws or important rules).

This society was founded on people who broke the rules and took a chance for something they believed in.

Famous “bad” rulebreakers included: American colonists, Civil Righs leaders, Gandhi, MLK, Dr. J (for defying gravity with his slam dunks and people against Afros), Stone Cold Steve Austin, Jonas Salk, Bobby Orr, Jackie Robinson, Eminem, Captain Kirk, Madonna, Batman, Lady Gaga…

See what I mean? But I just don’t want to do “edgy” for the sake of being edgy.

I don’t want to just take a rulebook, put it in a trash can, get some lighter fluid, a book of matches and light it on fire just to show the person next to me, “Hey look I burned a rulebook, I am so badass right now”.

It’s more a state of mind than actions.

I mean look at McLovin from “Superbad”. He got himself a fake ID in reality to not just get booze and get laid (for the record, he got the tip in with the skanky redhead in the movie, so yes he got laid before his copfriends cockblocked him imo). But in actuality, he was being more adventerous in his life and getting that fake ID was the first step in saying, “I am tired of feeling like a loser, I am going to take a shot, have some fun and get crunked… chicka chicka yeaaaaaaah and just see where the cards fall whether I get in trouble or not”… It worked out didn’t it?

So, in closing. No Huey Lewis and your News, it’s not always “Hip to be Square”. Sometimes you have to say, “Fuck Squares” (except L&B Spumoni Square Pizza slices, which are fucking delicious). Sometimes you have to fight back even if it means a 1-day suspension. Sometimes you have to speak up for what your believe in even if it means it’s wrong to everyone else. Sometimes you need to kick the shit out of a door off the hinges.

-V. for Vinnie

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