I take great pride that I am not a “fake” or a “con man”. I am not “perfect” nor I ever pretended to be given my Aspergers.
I don’t want to be perfect, perfection scares me. You don’t need to be massively ripped with muscles, have the biggest boobs, be the smartest person alive, etc. in order to be happy in life.
There has been so many events in real history and sci-fi books, movies, Twilight Zone episodes that show the costs perfection can have. There’s a reason whether you believe in a god or don’t that the irony of perfection is that it isn’t really.
I want to be normal. That’s what I ultimately want in life. That’s the brass ring I seek. I want to be no longer scared anymore of myself. I want to never look in the mirror and see a loser or a weirdo again. I want to be the guy who doesn’t get scared to be himself in front of people.
I don’t want to be normal at the cost of something else though. I don’t want to lose my moral compass. I don’t want to hurt someone to achieve it. I don’t want to hurt myself. I don’t want to “fake it” either.
The problem with fakes or “con men” is that they got what they wanted for a cost and usually the is at the misfortune of others. They’ll hurt someone and just ignore the consequences.
I’ve met many fakes in my life: fakes who lied to women, fakes who pretend to care about you and others, fakes who forget who they really are, etc. I never associate with them ever.
I only care about people who are genuine. I only want to be with those people. I admire them deeply because those are the people make you smile. They are the ones who are there for you in your darkest hours and make you feel like you are an amazing person.
They can see the worst side of you and still care about you.
I recently had an encounter with a new friend who really saw me at my worst, scared self and she should’ve been really pissed with me given what I did.
She didn’t know me as well, as others did and yet all she kept saying to me that “I was an amazing person.” I was so taken aback by her kindness.
Be with real people, trust me 🙂
-V. for Vinnie