Stuck on Revis Island and NJ Transit

At the Jets Game having some Beer!

Yesterday was a great day! I got to go to the Jets Game yesterday at MetLife Stadium for Monday Night Football and the Jets pretty much kicked the Dolphins ass ending a 3-game losing streak and hopefully getting our season on track.

I was able to cross off “Going to a Monday Night Football Game in person” of my Bucket List. It was between “Adopting a Penguin” and “Dating Jennifer Love Hewitt”.

Here is a brief recap of my day:

7:00am- Wake up from a dream which involved me riding on a Falcor from “The Neverending Story” (which is kinda weird, since the movie does end and has end credits and two sequels that end…WTF?) while hitting on Jennifer Love Hewitt and singing Billy Ocean’s “Get Out of My Dreams, Get into my Falcor” and when she is about too… The freaking alarm rang! Damn you alarm in phone!

7:45am- After watching “Dexter” on my DVR. In the shower singing Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” playing on my shower radio…”I just a poor boy, nobody loves ME…HE’S JUST A POOR BOY FROM A POOR FAMILY SPARING HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY!”

8:15am- I am dressed in work clothes, but make sure to pack my Jets clothes for the game, and eating the greatest cereal known to man. “Honey Bunches of Oats w/ Almonds”. If this cereal was a woman, I’d kiss her and sing Peabo Bryson’s “If ever you’re in my Arms again” when I eat her with a spoon, bowl and milk.

9:12am- On the subway going to work around W.8th Street listening to rap music to pump me up for the today and the Jets game. I am sooooo into the music I am tempted to rap outloud to the song I am listening too…by the way, It was this one especially the Notorious BIG part….

10:45am- I get my work day started trying to get a lot of stuff done before I leave. Today is going to be a busy day with tons of meetings for me and my team including present our brand plan to Senior Management. I am happy finally get to see my boss, Andrea today. She had to go to a Client function last week and is finally back. I love Andrea, she’s the best boss I ever had and I am grateful for the person she is. She’s like Wonder Woman. We talk about things  from last week and catch-up.

1:00pm- We are going to present the brand plan to Senior Management. We have some initial problems with the projector (crap) though we finally get started. I get a huge compliment from everyone because I am a “Triple Threat” in terms of the work I am doing. I feel like Chuck Norris minus Unparalleled Martial Arts Ability, Immortality, Fine Beard and can lift the biggest rock cause he’s fucking Chuck Norris.

2:30pm- Presentation goes well. Andrea tells me did a I great job 🙂 I am walking back to my desk in a strut like Tony Manero cause I am feeling good and I can start to wear my Jets gear now.

3:45pm- Preparing for the last meeting of the day, call my mom to check-in on how she’s doing especially since she has a giant brace on her leg. She says she’s doing ok. I am decked out in my Football stuff. I have 15 minutes to kill because it’s not to busy today and I think if Transformer and all around good Autobot Optimus Prime is Jewish? Does that mean Megatron and the Decepticons could attack Earth during Yom Kippur? Though Transformers is fictional, that still scares me though Optimus Prime has “The Touch!”

5:45pm-Done with work and on my way to the Jets game! I am so excited as I am walking to the Subway to get I do my “Snoopy Dance” which is the dance Snoopy does in the Peanuts cartoons. People might think it’s weird but to hell with them!

6:20pm- I am at Penn Station waiting on an endless line to get my NJ Transit train ticket to the Meadowlands. Ugh, you think they would have express lines for people going to the game. I am listening to my “Pumped Up Mix” to get ready for the game. I wonder why Lady Gaga’s “PokerFace” is in that mix.

7:30pm- I finally get on the train but we’re stalled because of signaling problems! Ugh! I am really pissed but I try to get my mind off it, so I read the e-book I reading. It’s the autobiography of Football Great and Legendary Chicago Bear,  #34 Walter Payton and it works as a distraction while the train moves.

8:21pm- I finally after making a transfer in Seacaucus (try saying that 5 times fast while drinking a Dr. Pepper), getting off the train, and surviving the security patdown though the big security guard was a bit too close in patting my junk, he was nearly in the leg/junk threshold but not close enough.

I am going up the escalator, see on the second level there’s a Verizon FiOs demonstration booth and I need a quick 3 minute charge to my iPhone so I have enough juice to my phone to facebook during the game, and listen to music on the way home but I don’t want a Verizon sales guy to pitch me for 5 minutes on FiOs. So I wait til he’s distracted, plug in my charger on the laptop and charge my phone… I then make out like a bandit! Breaking the Law! Breaking the Law! Breaking the Law

8:37pm- I am at my seat and the game is going to kick-off! Wooofreakinghoo! Monday Night Football!  ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL! I AM!

Though Hank Williams Jr. is a moron to compare Obama to Hitler.

Whether or not you believe in Obama’s presidency, he’s not a mass murderer of people. Don’t ever make that comparison ever. While at it, don’t compare him to Mussolini, Stalin, Jack the Ripper, Elmer Fudd, and Jan Brady either.

9:13pm- Jets are looking horrible early 😦 Offense is sluggish and spastic like my dance moves. I have some Bass Ale (though it’s $11.75 and not the greatest Bass Ale I had), Nathan’s Hot Dogs, and the crinkle cut fries (The most underrated awesome fast food fries ever especially with the little red fork thingy)

Jets finally get a frickin spark! DARRELLE EFFIN REVIS!  The Best Corner back in the NFL! When you throw to Revis Island, you get burnt! and that’s what happens. Revis after a push battle with Brandon Marshall overpowers him, runs back a Pick 6 for a 100 yard TD! BOOM! Jets in the lead!

Some dude in my section gets deservedly kicked out of the stadium. He threw a can of tuna at a Dolphins fan. That was a pure asshole thing to do! What if a little kid got hit instead? Games are meant to be fun, save that bullshit for somewhere else.

10:05pm- Halftime! Jets offense goes on a huge drive before the half and scores a TD with QB Mark Sanchez running in a score from the 5 yard line!

I wait 15 minutes to take a piss in the bathroom 😦

Though I go to the team shop and get an awesome Vintage Jets skully cap and debate getting Jets underwear and I am still hungry so I get another Bass Ale and a Jumbo Pretzel though is a SuperPretzel really a SuperPretzel? (Initial thoughts: Yes)

10:44pm- Game is back on and the Jets are in control! I begin to wonder if former Dolphins Kicker and Tranny, Ray Finkle will get revenge on the Dolphins by kidnapping possible #1 pick Andrew Luck… Maybe I should warn Ace Ventura, Pet Detective but I change my mind since I hate the Dolphins!

11:12pm- This game is over! Sanchez hit’s WR Santonio  Holmes for the game clinching TD! There is still a lot of time in the 4th quarter and I don’t like to leave a game early even in a blowout but I have work tomorrow and a long trip home. I pop in the iPhone and listen to some Red Hot Chili Peppers going to the train to get home to Brooklyn!

12:04am- On the NJ Transit train about to go into the tunnel into NYC and it’s stalled again! This time for a half freaking hour! What the hell! I have to go home and sleep!

This clearly is not a train the Quad City DJ’s would approve of!

12:43am- Finally on the NYC Subway in Manhattan on my way to Brooklyn. I am about to fall asleep on the train and I am trying to stay up so I don’t get knocked out and miss my stop in Brooklyn so I begin to do what I normally do… Start to play the Beastie Boys “No Sleep til Brooklyn!”

1:34am- I finally got home in Brooklyn and about to go to sleep. WHAT A DAY! Hopefully I can dream of Jennifer Love Hewitt and riding the Falcor again… Good Night!<br /><a href=”; target=”_blank”>Billy ocean – get out of my dreams</a> <i>by <a href=”; target=”_blank”>kareem93</a></i>

The End!

-V. for Vinnie

My Jets Underwear 😛


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