This weekend was a very active weekend for me. In between watching tons of Premier League Soccer, because it was the opening weekend.
I went to a Yankee game on Friday Night and saw Yankee Ace and Cy Young Candidate CC Sabathia get hammered at Yankee Stadium for 5 Home Runs, which freaking sucked!
Yesterday, my family and I celebrated my late Uncle David’s birthday, we bought a beautiful flower cake that was in pinstripes to his headstone and my mom got some Yankee helmets to decorate with the cake, and spent time as family watching, “The Dark Knight” and eating sandwiches.
Today was a monsoon all over New York City including Brooklyn, but I had one goal in mind in spite of getting soaked with torrential rainpour. I wanted to go to the Movies. I really try to make an effort to go the movies, every weekend. It’s just something I am used too and enjoy even if it’s a bad movie. I must have accumulated millions of movie theater loyalty points over the last 10-12 years. It gives me an escape for a few hours where I whether alone, with a friend or family can just sit back and watch something on the big screen.
The person who inspired me to do it is someone I love and miss very much: My late Uncle David.
He died about 2 and a half years ago, after a very brave one and a half year battle with Leukemia. He died peacefully with the family who loved him, very much and I can tell he was very happy, we were with him in his final hours at Hospice.
Uncle David, really was a great man. No one and I mean no one can ever say a bad thing about him and I really mean that.
He had some mental problems, but that never affected the person he was. He loved and cared for us. He was smart, strong as a bull and was just as much a lover of movies, TV sports and Pop Culture as I am.
He loved to eat also. He would always come to the house when I was young on weekends with a newspaper in his hands asking my mom if she can make him a sandwich before going to the movies. My mom always did and he would scarf it down in seconds only for my mom to find out later from my grandma, she had made him a sandwich an hour earlier. LOL.
I hung out with him a lot when I was younger, he always would take me to the movies at the Alpine in my neighborhood. He loved going to the Movies, and would always see the same movies a lot. He once charged like a hundred bucks on PPV…My grandma was pissed..lol!
He and I would also watch a lot of WWE PPV’s at my grandmothers and he always loved Sports like me especially Baseball and the New York Yankees!
He was funny and insightful, loved cartoons also.
You can say my Uncle David rubbed on me the right way 🙂
When he got sick and stood often in the Hospital for Chemo treatments. I every time I could always came to the Hospital to visit him. I always came with food and soda and would watch Jeopardy and sports with David. David, always enjoyed my company when I came there. I don’t like hospitals very much, but for David that never entered my mind, because I wanted to be there for him. I knew he would have done the same for me if I was the one that was sick. As much as they could sometimes bring bad memories, I always look back at those visits has some of the best times I had with him.
It wasn’t an easy thing to cope for my family and I but we know David would’ve wanted us to move on with our lives, be happy and be there for each other. David loved life and had a strong faith, what better way to honor him but to continue to live on and know he’s here with us in spirit.
I can speak for myself, while I tried not to show it on the outside to others especially in my family because it was more personal to me. I had a hard time dealing with his death initially for awhile. Two reasons:
1) It shook my faith: I think it’s normal for anyone regardless of religious beliefs for faith’s to be shaken and it did for me.
Ever since I found out his diagnosis, I was always hopeful that he was going to be better and prayed that he would.
To be honest, I am not too religious. It’s not that I have no beliefs. I do believe in God, despite the struggles with my faith.
I just don’t restrict myself to a certain set of beliefs and respect others beliefs (except Scientology, screw you Tom Cruise).
I think the problem with religion (and I mean any religion) is people take everything in like it’s strict code and adhere to it as such and try to browbeat people into believing in what they believe in to even the extreme cases of force and death.
It is very hard to hope and pray for the best, then see someone you love, pass away and accept it’s part of a plan initially. How could any person? It made me question everything I ever knew.
I came to terms with my faith. The reason why was looking back even when he got worst, my Uncle David never lost his faith, at all. When you couldn’t fault if he did or forsaken it. His faith even in his final days was stronger that most people I ever knew.
While sometimes doubt can creep in, I can say I still have my faith.
2) Regret: The other thing was the hardest thing was regret. As mentioned, David was a pure soul. He never said a mean thing about anyone and everyone loved him. David never took anything personal and was always there for anyone. He always loved me and our family.
There were a couple of times, David could come off annoying though he never meant to and always meant well. David could repeat a lot of things he would say a lot and some other things. I sometimes would act annoyed which in retrospect I shouldn’t have never done that because I knew David and his condition.
Though that was only like 3% of our interactions and he knew I love him, I still feel guilty I acted like that towards him and not a day goes by where I wish I didn’t do that and apologized to him.
Before they closed the casket at the funeral, I put in a personal heartfelt letter to him explaining how much he meant to me and how sorry I was for those times I treated him like that. I also snuck in his favorite dvd, “The Dark Knight” in the casket knowing he would want to watch it in heaven.
I know in my heart, David never was mad at me for that and probably wouldn’t want me to apologize but I wish I treated him better during those times. He deserved better from me and of all people, I should have understood him better and the problems he had.
I miss him very much and always will. There are times when I go to a movie theater or at a ballgame and I see an empty seat I imagine he’s there with me right now. I will always have the memories of him and the great times we had.
I do hope one day, down the road I will see him again and though I know he didn’t like hugs I was going to give him one anyway and tell him how he meant to me and that I loved him.
Cherish the ones you love and always keep them in your heart and your mind whether they are here or not. That’s the one thing no one can take from you, no matter what.
-V. for Vinnie