What a Good Boy, What a Good Girl

What a Good Boy 🙂

One of my favorite bands is the Barenaked Ladies, a Canadian Pop-Rock Band. I loved all their songs. You probably most remember them from there big US hit “One Week”, you know it… “Chickety China the Chinese Chicken, Had a Drumstick and your brain stops ticking” and they sing the theme song to “The Big Bang Theory”, one of the best sitcoms on TV!

One of my favorite songs of there’s that has always stuck with me is “What a Good Boy”. It’s a very beautiful song with lyrics (see below for the music video and lyrics) that really resonated with me and how I feel about my life so far. It’s a very vulernable song about how someone feels about their life and how they relate that to someone in their life.  This song has really meant even more to me recently given a recent, meaningful personal friendship I am currently having with someone.

When I mean “meaningful, recent friendship” I want to make it very clear to you, the reader, it means what it means. I love her as a dear friend.  I am very close to this someone and it’s happened over a very short amount of time compared to my other friendships. This person is someone I am very protective of because I feel I have to though she is not a “Damsel in Distress”. She is far from it. There’s an indescribable vulernability to her that I immediately sensed about her when I first met her in November which told me, she was someone special to me and I was immediately drawn.

Over this little time I have had encounters with her in the “setting we’re in”, I’ve gotten to know her very well and really admire her as a person. She’s Wonder Woman though she will never admit that. Others know this about her, so I know I am not alone in feeling this way about her. People can’t be help but be drawn to her and she never uses that to her advantage like “fake people” do. She’s genuine.  She’s a generous, caring person who always looks out for people.

I know this for a fact, she was my sympathetic shoulder for me when I went through a really hard patch in January when I got some bad “Professional news” which I felt put into a trap to make a choice that was unwinnable for me and I felt was going to affect my career and my life. I was in a bad place and I felt I couldn’t share my angst with anyone but she immediately made me feel better and guided me through that trap. I almost kinda self-destructed. I felt safe with her, because I knew I can be me around her.

Only a few people in my life I will ever say that about: My parents, several relatives, Liz, Carly, Leah, and Ms. X.

I started to pick-up on why I think I am drawn to her as she got caught in her own “trap” in which she was put into a really, really bad situation and she had no one to “see” her through it. I wanted to, I wanted really badly to help her but there were circumstances in the interim that prevented me from doing that and there’s not a day that went by I don’t blame myself for not helping out sooner than I really did after my clawing my way in to help and making a compromise in order to be in that position. She keeps telling me that it’s not my fault and that she wouldn’t have been navigated through that without me. I still feel I could’ve done more regardless.

She is a lot like me in terms of our emotional resonance and vulernability. What made me drawn to her was what I feel makes people drawn to me as a person.

I am a very self-aware person. I am a trying to be a more confident person but there are times I am genuinely scared on what life might bring me or ultimately take away from me especially given something that happened to me a few years ago that shook me up for awhile. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I can show emotion very easy to others whether I say something or not.  I don’t apologize for that though there are times in my life and with others I should’ve done a better job managing those emotions when I went through those bad patches in life. Part of it is nerves, and the other part is my Aspergers.

I think because others see that and know I am a very caring, vulnerable person who would do anything for them, they probably help me more than they really should. I am always grateful for that and I would like my friend would never use that to take advantage of people. I never would. Quite the opposite with me, I am very gracious and loyal to those people.

Someone I have also got to known recently in this setting, kinda called me out on my “special friendship” (his words) with my friend in a very demeaning tone with this person which to be honest, really pissed me off and was telling on why I don’t really fully trust that person. I understand why people might not understand my ” special friendship” with this person, it’s very hard to understand, it really is complicated. But for him to imply our “friendship” the way he did with his tone and demeanor, was wrong, unprofessional and just plain ignorant. It really made me angry though I took the high road as I always do because I don’t like fights and I didn’t want to give him any satisfaction by my reaction.

My wisdom I can give to others: A little show of Vulernability never hurts someone or the people you care about. It’s what makes us really human and our loved ones, really our loved ones.

-V. for Vinnie

Lyrics:

When I was born they looked at me and said
What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy
And when you were born they looked at you and said
What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl

We’ve got these chains that hang around our necks
People want to strangle us with them before we take our
first breath
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same
When temptation calls we just look away

Chorus
This name is the hairshirt I wear
And this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair
This song is the cross that I bear
Bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me
Be with me tonight
I know that it isn’t right
But be with me tonight

I go to school, I write exams
If I pass, if I fail, if I drop out, does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they’ll soon forget
‘Cause it won’t take much for me to show that my life ain’t
over yet

I wake up scared, I wake up strange
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to
change
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
And everything around me stays the same

Chorus

I couldn’t tell you that I was wrong
Chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I
wrote this song
I couldn’t tell you that you were right
So instead I looked in the mirror watched tv laid awake all
night

We’ve got these chains that hang around our necks
People want to strangle us with them before we take our
first breath
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same
When temptation calls….

Chorus

When I was born they looked at me and said
What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy
And when you were born they looked at you and said
What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey

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