Given I am around 6 months before Christmas, I figure why not create an early Christmas list 😉 Here is the list of things I want in no particular order:
1) Kat Dennings: My current celebrity #1 crush. I have fallen in love with her since “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist”. Her mix of brains, sarcastic bitchiness (which is a turn on to me), buxomness and the fact she is someone that really doesn’t take herself seriously is what attracts me to her. Whenever I see her I think of the Stray Cats “She’s Sexy and 17” (she’s older by the way before you compare me to R. Kelly).
2) To go to the premiere of the upcoming “Muppet Movie!: I am a major diehard Muppets fan. Seriously, I have dreams of me learning the Banjo with Kermit the Frog, cooking with the Swedish Chef and even got into a staunch political debate with Sam the Eagle on CNN. I can’t wait for the new movie. Seriously, I will buy a ticket to LA, take a few days from work just to go to the premiere and chill with the Muppets, Jason Segel (and remind him to do the Dracula Musical!), and see the movie first!
3) Go to the Super Bowl: I would do anything…ANYTHING! To go to the Super Bowl if it means going to the game wearing only a a baby diaper endorsing Nike. Especially if the Jets make the Super Bowl! Holy shit if the Jets make the Super Bowl this year! I would run the Brooklyn Bridge nude while singing Poison’s “Nothin’ But a Good Time” even if it will be January and really cold and the cops might arrest me for public disturbance and it would be awkward to go to work with a picture of my running with my junk out is on the front-cover of the NY Post saying “NUTS for Jets” but as long as my team makes the Super Bowl!
4) Trapeze School: Cause I want to poop my pants as I swing in the air like a “Scared Pudgy Tarzan” screaming for my life cause I just realized I am scared of heights and decided to go to Trapeze School cause it’s a part of my wish. Though the sequin suits actually would be cool and Trapeze Artists has to get the chicks right? Seriously? Do they? I won’t commit it until I get an assurance it will score me hot chicks.
5) I want the Stanley Cup for one day and one day only: The Stanley Cup to those of my friends who don’t want Hockey is the Ultimate Trophy to win. It’s essentially a giant Silver Cup of achievement that you bested Canadians with Mullets with a crooked stick and Goalie’s who wear really cool colorful masks. The winning team’s players all get to spend 1 day with the Stanley Cup, seriously they get one day! How awesome is that, imagine what they might do with it? Maybe put their fruit in it? Use it as a bong? Go to bars and used it to hit on the ladies? (Hockey guys always gets the chicks)? Hug it and never let it go? I think I would probably chill with the cup and watch TV with the Cup, eat some Fritos and talk to it about life like Tom Hanks did with the Volleyball in “Cast Away”. I would call it “Stanley” of course.
6) “Kids Incorporated” on DVD finally!: My ultimate 80’s dorkdom love when I was a little kid. “Kids Incorporated” was a show in the 80’s and 90’s on The Disney Channel. It was like a half-hour “Glee” but much funner and doesn’t wear down in storytelling after year 1. Launched the Careers of “Fergie”, Jennifer Love Hewitt (Celebrity Crush #4), etc. It was basically kids in Brooklyn (the coolest place ever btw) singing covers of current pop songs at their favorite Diner/Performing Space which set the tones of the stories of each episode. I love the show and loved watching old clips on youtube such as (and yes I am straight)…
7) Get Stuck in a Toy Store: Since the events of “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York”, I have tried many times in vein to get stuck inside FAO Schwartz as a kid but those stupid “responsible security guards” kept getting in the way! douchebags!
8) Cameo in one episode of “Jersey Shore”: I want to hang out with the Jersey Shore cast and be on an episode. That would be so freaking awesome. I can be the “Other Vinnie” similar to last year’s amazing short-term new guy “Fake Ronnie” who looked like the real Ronnie and had a thing with Deena. Oh man that was so freaking awesome when “Fake Ronnie” was on the show especially his standout first episode. THIS MUST HAPPEN! Though I hope JWoww hits on me. I pass on the gremlins Snooki and Deena and Sammi is too much of a freaking drama queen. She when Ronnie was sad (might have been the roids also) because of her head games after he did head games on her gave Ronnie a slice of pizza when she should’ve gotten him a protein shake. WTF Sammi!
LINK to Fake Ronnie Awesomeness: http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/613835/fake-ronnie.jhtml
9) World Peace: My Miss American Answer… Always!
10) Happiness to my Family and Friends: Cause they make me happy and are always there for me 🙂 Just that simple!
I need to work on more list items! I have 6 months to go!
-V. for Vinnie