Don’t get me wrong I enjoy “big things” like a big burger, or my expensive “Beats by Dre” headphones which automatically increase my “funky” (urban coolness not body odor) meter and my street cred though it’s kinda taken a hit when I sung Michael Bolton at a karaoke bar months back similarly to the current recession. By the way, the song was “Time, Love and Tenderness”… Don’t hate!
But things I really do love the most are the “little things” in life and here’s a list of “10 random little things in no particular order” and why:
1) Yoohoo: I love, love, loooooooooooove Yoohoo. It’s like the Chocolate Gods (Count Chocula, The Nesquik Bunny and former NBA Player Darryl “Chocolate Thunder” Dawkins amongst those Gods) created a heavenly spring for the people who craved a magical chocolate drink in a yellow glass bottle and a cool name. When I first tried it granted I was 2-3 years old in my sensitive toddler phase (all toddlers are emo, by the way) I cried tears of joy. I must have it, once a week.
2) Billy Ocean: The greatest Jamaican pop singer ever. Why Red Stripe never did a 100 million dollar Ad campaign with Billy as their spokesperson is a wasted Marketing opportunity, no disrespect to the Red Stripe Ambassador (Hooray Beer!). He’s so fucking cool.
His songs are like battle cries for me. “When the Going Gets Tough (The Tough Get Going)”, made me wanna get tough, Jamaican style. “Get Out of My Dreams, Get into My Car”, made me wanna hit on a hot lady at work and say “Hey you! Get into my car. Yes you. Get into my Car” though they may go to HR understandably when I ask them to “Touch my bumper and let’s make a deal, make it real” though I don’t have a car. It really is lyrical poetry by Mr. Ocean.
3) Uniqlo: I have been looking like if Jimmy Kimmel had became a male fashion model with my nice new clothes recently. I have been getting my clothes at Uniqlo, which is a Japanese clothing store in SoHo.
It’s like a muuuuuuuuch cooler Old Navy when Old Navy was actually cool in the mid 90’s but much better clothes. Though this makes people accuse me as a Hipster alot… Which I deny! I am a mix of dork, nerd, jock, hipster and preppie or “donejohippie” as I like to call it 😉
4) “Cheap Seats”: I am a sports nut! Wait, scratch that… I am a sports lunatic. To quote Weed-Rappers “Cypress Hill”, I am “Sports insane in the membrane”. My favorite sports show was “Cheap Seats”. “Cheap Seats”, was on ESPN Classic hosted by twin brothers/stand-up comedians Jason & Randy Sklar where they provided “snarky commentary” on classic and classically obscure sports (Spelling Bees, Putt Putt, and Ultimate Frisbee). It obviously tickles my snarky belly button.
Especially one episode they did of a 90’s National Spelling Bee where the winner from New York, was a young tween girl who was weirder than weird. When she spelled, she would breath into her hands and spell the word. When she realized at the end, she knew the word and was going to win it all had something similar to an “Orgasmic” jubilation and spelled the word as such (needed a cigarette after that episode).
5) Remote Control: Quite simply, there has never been as small an object that can cause so many emotions for any human being. Whether it is realizing you forgot to tape “Jersey Shore”, got a call from a friend to change the channel to see a donkey kick a guy right in the balls on “Tosh.O” or the 2 minutes of being inconsolable when you’re remote’s batter dies similar to Spicoli’s face when Mr. Bone confiscated his pizza in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”
6) The One Hit Wonder: There is no power unlike singing aloud about liking Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain, or putting on a fake long blond wig and singing to a girl that you can’t “Live with out her Love and Affection” or asking some hot irish chick to “Come On Eileen”
Seriously, everyone has at least some random “One Hit Wonder” on their iPod they love. Me, personally I have at least 200 of them on my iPod including “Rico Suave” by Mexican Rapper, now Accountant (not kidding) Gerardo.
7) Baseball Caps: Can be for the sports fan or the non-sports fan. Can be cool. Can be something casually simple. Can be a Fashion statement. Can be hiding some bad hairstyle or 6 months of procrastinating that hair cut before you have hair that exceeds Robin Williams chest. Can be to rock your city/team’s colors. It’s just that simple
8) Waffles: As the late genius stand-up comedian, Mitch Hedberg said “Waffles are like Pancakes with Syrup Traps”. Never has any joke been so true. Whether it’s leggo my eggo, homemade or as a cool form of a french fry.The waffle is the greatest breakfast invention ever. Yes, over the toaster, Egg McMuffin, the McGriddle, and even the Cold left-over pizza.
9) Euro Soccer/World Cup: Best Soccer in the World! There’s nothing like waking up at 6am on a Saturday morning. Yes I said 6am on a saturday morning! Wake up in your pajamas (Scooby Doo), brush your teeth (remember people, brush your teeth in concentric circles) pour yourself a big bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats Cereal, turn on the HD flatscreen TV and put on ESPN 2 or Fox Soccer and watch what truly is “The Beautiful Game”
10) Blankets: I laugh at you “Snuggie” wearers! Get a blanket ya cult looking douche! Seriously when has anyone in the history of world felt uncomfortable in a blanket? The only thing negative about a Blanket was that Michael Jackson (RIP King of Pop) named his kid one which was really creepy considering he liked sleeping with kids in his bed and had like the big “Kool-Aid” smile when he said that.
I think the Blanket industry was able to overcome that and the Snuggie fad. Seriously, get a blanket, Snuggie person. I am not kidding. I will buy you a blanket.
Those are my favorite lil’ things 🙂 Enjoy your Waffles and Goodnight World!
-V. for Vinnie